Monday, November 22, 2010

Sorry, Kodak, now they're "iPhone Moments."




One of my favorite perks of having an iPhone is having a camera on me at all times. There have been so many times I was able to capture something hilarious or otherwise picture-worthy thanks to my trusty iPhone. And unlike a digital camera, the iPhone snaps pictures really quickly so you can capture one shot after another, ensuring you get a good one without having to wait for the camera to get ready again. The camera on my iPhone, the 3GS, is 3-megapixels and has an invaluable auto-focus feature as well as touch-to-focus capability and zoom.

I also get a lot of use out of the 3GS' video capture function. While I do wish the set up time for the video function was a bit faster, the luxury of having a video recording device on hand is more than convenient.

I've posted a few examples of occasions when I was thankful to have my iPhone camera:
1. If this person isn't also named Paige she needs to hand over her license plate to me.
2. What goes on in the alleys of Sesame Street.
3. Watch out! There's a martian robot behind you!!
4. (Video) Intoxicated woman verbally assaults London bus driver and passengers. Warning: Intense language

Politics vs. Prostitution

It is my belief that one of the iPhone's best features is also one of its worst. Autocorrect. On the website/pop-culture-phenomenon, "Texts From Last Night," a fellow iPhone user poignantly identifies the issue: "Seriously, iPhone. Stop autocorrecting all my f*cks into ducks. You're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable." While the feature can be immensely helpful to speed-texters, it is also responsible for such catastrophes as, "OMG. I just locked my jews in the car again" (damnyouautocorrect.com) and "that personal trainer licked my butt!" According to CNN.com, "the iPhone's auto-correct function turns 'heard about garys internship at the whitehouse?' to 'heard about farts internship at the whorehouse?'" Even worse, what would Gary's friends at the whorehouse think if they read in a text that he'd gotten a new job at the White House??

A new website, damnyouautocorrect.com, allows victims of autoincorrect to send in pictures of their phone's "misfixes" for everyone to enjoy. As more and more of my text messages are butchered everyday, I can't help but wonder if and how Apple will address this problem. Is there a way to make our phones understand us better? And is autocorrect the future of typing for all keyboards? The iPad also autocorrects users' typos; maybe it's just a matter of time before technology completely dictates our usage of intentionally misspelled wordz and phonetically-written catchphrases (ie. "baaahahaha" or "oh GAWD"). I am a frequent user of "nize" and "srzly" and would very much like to keep my freedom of expression.

Clearly Apple's autocorrect function can do some damage if one presses "send" before he proofreads an autocorrected text to his boss. On the other hand, it also provides us with a good laugh now and again, so perhaps the positives outweigh the neglig├ęs. I mean negatives.

I'm sure you have all experienced some quality autocorrect moments and I'd love to hear about them!

The iPhone's Achilles Heel

A friend of mine recently lost a loved one. Her iPhone 4G, may it rest in peace, has gone to cyber heaven. After waiting in line for four hours, Kate finally selected, paid for and held in her hands the key to everything she could have ever imagined herself to want: constant access to the fastest network speeds, "Facetime" capability, HD video recording, a 5-megapixel camera and of course the passing looks of jealousy and resentment that owners of the iPhone 4G relish, whether or not they choose to admit it. She was complete. For two blissful weeks she checked her e-mail whenever she pleased, downloaded and got hooked on the latest apps and composed the soundtrack of her life with her ever-expanding iTunes library at her fingertips. And then she encountered the same fate so many members of the iPhone clan have come to meet. During a routine trip to the ladies' room, my dear friend made a fatal mistake. Sliding the 4G into her back pocket tightened the knot in the tiny metaphorical noose. Kate turned the lock on the stall, assumed unbuttoning-pants stance and with one foul swoop she sent her iPhone to its watery porcelain grave. You see, boys and girls, when one pulls down her pants, back pockets no longer act as trusty holding places. They lose their shape, causing any contents left in them, especially those shaped like iPhones, to fall to the ground, or in this case, into the toilet.

For as awesome and technologically advanced as the iPhone is, it seems funny that water is its Cryptonite. Inside every iPhone is a water-sensing tab that lets Apple's employees know if a customer's claim that his phone "just stopped working" is code for "got wet." If the phone has been damaged by water, Apple will offer a replacement for $199. While this sounds pretty (really) steep, it is a welcome change from their previous policy: "Too bad your phone got wet, I hope you have enough money to buy a brand new one."

So, iPhone users, let us all be mindful of where we put our phones when we go to the restroom. And word to the wise: my friend Eric found out that sweat is equally as detrimental to the iPhone, so to all those who suffer from Hyperhidrosis, put a water proof case on your phone when you go to the gym.

Do you have a good story about the death of your iPhone? Let's hear it!