Monday, November 22, 2010

The iPhone's Achilles Heel

A friend of mine recently lost a loved one. Her iPhone 4G, may it rest in peace, has gone to cyber heaven. After waiting in line for four hours, Kate finally selected, paid for and held in her hands the key to everything she could have ever imagined herself to want: constant access to the fastest network speeds, "Facetime" capability, HD video recording, a 5-megapixel camera and of course the passing looks of jealousy and resentment that owners of the iPhone 4G relish, whether or not they choose to admit it. She was complete. For two blissful weeks she checked her e-mail whenever she pleased, downloaded and got hooked on the latest apps and composed the soundtrack of her life with her ever-expanding iTunes library at her fingertips. And then she encountered the same fate so many members of the iPhone clan have come to meet. During a routine trip to the ladies' room, my dear friend made a fatal mistake. Sliding the 4G into her back pocket tightened the knot in the tiny metaphorical noose. Kate turned the lock on the stall, assumed unbuttoning-pants stance and with one foul swoop she sent her iPhone to its watery porcelain grave. You see, boys and girls, when one pulls down her pants, back pockets no longer act as trusty holding places. They lose their shape, causing any contents left in them, especially those shaped like iPhones, to fall to the ground, or in this case, into the toilet.

For as awesome and technologically advanced as the iPhone is, it seems funny that water is its Cryptonite. Inside every iPhone is a water-sensing tab that lets Apple's employees know if a customer's claim that his phone "just stopped working" is code for "got wet." If the phone has been damaged by water, Apple will offer a replacement for $199. While this sounds pretty (really) steep, it is a welcome change from their previous policy: "Too bad your phone got wet, I hope you have enough money to buy a brand new one."

So, iPhone users, let us all be mindful of where we put our phones when we go to the restroom. And word to the wise: my friend Eric found out that sweat is equally as detrimental to the iPhone, so to all those who suffer from Hyperhidrosis, put a water proof case on your phone when you go to the gym.

Do you have a good story about the death of your iPhone? Let's hear it!

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